The John Cusack moment where he’s holding up the stereo, really f@#$ed up your life.
If people haven’t seen that movie “Say Anything”, there’s a scene where John Cusack wants to get the girl back and he holds a boom box outside her door and she kind of comes around and falls for him. And that was sort of ingrained in my mind for a really long time.
I can remember, even in sixth grade, the first girl that I had a crush on, I wrote the lyrics to “Sweet Child of Mine” by Guns ‘n Roses and I gave it to her thinking, that was going to be my moment when she was going to go, Oh my God!
She wound up getting to second base with the class asshole. So it just never worked out that way.
Even years later, it was that idea of “I’m going to buy her flowers when she’s losing attraction.”
When a girl starts pulling away, it’s still this mentality of when I would notice that happening. Oh, she was into me now she’s not. So I have to show her, I have to maybe go and send her a bouquet of flowers to her work. I always had this idea, this grand gesture that was going to do it, never really realizing that it was really all about how she felt about me.
It wasn’t about something I was going to do in terms of buying her affection or winning her over with gifts or romance, it was more just, was she attracted when she was with me and we’ll get to this as well. But just as importantly, when she’s not with me, is she thinking about me? Is she wondering where I am? Who I’m with? Because if she’s not, I mean, that’s probably one of the biggest reasons that things fall apart.
It’s one of the biggest nice guy mistakes there is, is not giving her that element of it.