Lady does not want to wear makeup and tears nylon stocking on her face with painted red lips

How Do You Want to Feel?

Stop Swiping. Get Scouted.

How do you want to FEEL in your relationship? Don’t tell me what you want physically. How do you want to feel? How do you want your life to be?

When you think about your dream job, you don’t think about what you’re doing logistically. A pro football player doesn’t want to be a pro football player because of the word pro football player they want to do it because of the exhilaration they get from winning games.


So, How do you want to feel? And if you don’t care enough to go find the answer to that, then you don’t care enough to have the relationship. For real y’all! Being in love is the best thing in the entire world. It is literally the only thing that matters. Yeah. It’s going to take a second. It’s going to take some effort. It’s going to take some real ego humbling on your end to get into that good stuff, but it’s totally worth it.

So the question doesn’t become “oh, I guess life sucks. People just don’t care about relationships anymore.” No, the question becomes, “how do I get to the people that do, how do I get to the people that care about relationships? The way I do? How do I get to the people that want to have a relationship the way I do?”


“How do you adjust the quality of person you’re dating?” I am so happy you asked. You join awesome communities, cough, cough, wink, wink, like ours. Any community that has been curated, and put together by real people is a good one to join because that means there’s other like-minded people in that group.

So I don’t care if it’s our group. I don’t care if it’s a meetup. I don’t care if it’s your virtual soccer team. Whatever you guys do. If you want to be in a relationship, you better be putting yourselves actively in places to find other people, in order to find that relationship.

If you’re not actively putting yourself in situations to find other people who want relationships, then you can NOT raise your hand and say “well, I guess I’m meant to be alone.”
Right?!. Gotta think about these things.

Illa Lynn

Meet Illa Lynn | Relationships Coach and Dating Strategist Illa is a Transformation Life Coach and Author who helps women over 30 get back into

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